Being Solo – part 2

It’s a Wednesday evening and Zee has nothing to do. She started a bit of the quant section from the Official Guide but she is tired and feeling depressed. She needs to talk to someone so she starts scrolling her phone book.

She calls H and leaves a voicemail. She calls K and leaves a voicemail. She calls D and leaves a voicemail. H, K and D are her single female friends.

Zee thinks to herself “ Damn No one picks up my phone call when I am depressed. I hate them all.”

So then she calls S who is a long lost guy friend. Here goes the conversation:

S: Hey Whats up? Kaha kho gayi hai tu ?

Zee : Yahipe hu yaar. Nothing much same old same old.

S: Yaar tu mid-west mein bore ho jayegi. Come to Boston. This place rocks.

Zee : Yeah, soch rahi hu relocate karungi

S: Yeah you should come here and be my roommate. I will work and you can sit at home and cook for me. How about that. LOL !

Zee thinks to herself : Cant this guy stop hitting ever?

Zee: Hey S, I’ll call you back later !!!!

BANG !!!!!!

Zee is terribly bored and then reluctantly calls her married female friend V.

Here goes the talk:

V: Hey Zee, How are you doing? Are you dating anyone currently? How is That BF of yours? Are you guys getting married soon? Do your parents know about him? You are getting old now. You need to settle down in life. Get married Get married Get married. Get married. Get married.

Zee: Hey V, I am getting another call. I’ll call you back.

BANG !

Half an hour of answered calls, leaving voice messages, getting hit upon, getting bantered, Zee was left all the more depressed.

So, the bottom line is – If you are a girl who has crossed 25 and are single, then boss “nikal le”

You are going to be alone without genuine friends.

The guys your age want to always hit on you thinking that you are not serious about your life and the girls want to give you advice to settle down and have babies because they think that you are not serious about your life.

Desire to be Different.

These days it makes me hungry not for food but for education.

I don’t see anyone as my role model. I see ME as my role model.

Yes, I always admired people for different things and never admired myself for whatever I achieved in life.

I want to convert this passion and hunger into something measurable and concrete. How do I do that ?

You know when you have a visible scar in your personal life, this whole world sees you as a loser. They won’t say it out but their eyes look at you like a “bechara”.

I hate that look. I want to be looked upon with respect and dignity and not as a “poor girl”

Last night before sleeping I was thinking about it, what can be changed?

What changes can I bring to my day to day life which helps me to be more productive. One of things that I always fail to do is to wake up in the morning and study. I just cannot wake up anytime before 8.00 am.

Then I thought to myself that it is a very small price to pay for something wonderful in life. If I wake up even by 7 and study for one hour regularly in the morning, then it is going to make me feel so good !

Another practice that I have been following rigorously since a month is weekend cooking. I cook ahead for the week on Sunday. It saves such a lot of time. I just have to heat it and eat it whenever I feel like eating it. However, I get too lazy to iron my clothes for the week. I have to implement that someday.

I am taking one step at a time. For now, my short term goals are so important. I am growing old and this is the only chance to do anything if at all. I don’t want to lose this one chance of being something different in life. Now or Never !

Dreams Unlimited

Its been a while since I woke up early in the morning anytime before 8.00 am.
I slept at 7.30 last night and woke up at 11.30 pm.
Had a glass of water and back to slumberland.
Sometimes I feel that it is so cozy and comfy when you have nothing going on in your life.
Or even if you have something going on and you don’t want to be bothered by it, just go into the comforter, forget all worries and bury yourself in sleep.
And when you wake up all your worries and woes should seem like a bad dream.
Unfortunately that does not happen.
As soon as we open our eyes, we realize that we are back to the big bad world.
I sometimes wonder if we live a parallel life in our dreams.

Like what if I have an awesome life in my dreams and the reality which I live in the daytime is just a side thingie.
Wow, I wish I would dream about some dude and he would be my partner for life and the people whom I came across in the daytime life were just stop gaps. LOL !

I have some recurring dreams since a few years. Some of them are weird and some are pleasant.
One of them shows me that I am in India with my family at my home. This one is so blissful. Makes me feel very protected. It kind of erases these two years where I lived alone and took so much crap from others.

Another one used to flash once in a while but I haven’t got it in a long time.
I am holding someone else’s baby and pampering the baby, playing with the baby and taking care of it.
Then the mother comes and gets the baby from me.

I tried to google this one to see if it means anything. All I could gather is that babies in dreams represent a new beginning. I don’t know if its true. It could be. So, should I assume that nothing new will occur in my life for a long time because I haven’t seen babies in my dreams for a while ?

Where is my Cinderella Man ?

Where is my Cinderella Man ?

No I am not writing a Mills and Boon story but just thinking how jealous I get when I see a couple who grew up together. Somehow, when I see couples who meet and get married in 2 months just doesn’t give me a kick. But, when I see people who have been together for a while and get married, my perception changes.

Imagine studying together ,making hot coffee at 12 am on a rainy night, not romancing but studying. WOW !

I always thought and still think that the most perfect date according to me is a long conversation in a coffee shop. By that, I mean a meaningful conversation and not a silly and senseless “Haa haa hee hee” thing.

The couples that I see usually get caught up in the worldly differences. Like who is wearing which brand. BF wears Armani so GF upgrades herself from Aeropostale to Armani and A&F. I find it so silly. I am a part of it though.

This post is all about me and what I want and when will I get my Cinderella Guy.

I want a person who races in abstract things like education, family values etc. Not someone who races for getting a new car just to compete with some schmucks.

Life is so much beyond wearing just branded clothes, driving good cars. Imagine people who do this and don’t even have money to eat khichdi at home. I know of some people who buy a wannabe jeans for Rs 3000 in India and then don’t even have Rs 100 left in the pocket to entertain their GFs.

Anyways, I think I went on to a different tangent. What are the things that I would want to do with my Cinderella guy?

1) Study till late nights and have a healthy competition.

2) Have long conversations on ethics and values

3) Do a meditation course together

4) Make food at home together

5) Be frugal together and plan the expenses and where to save.

6) Watch sports together

7) I want someone spiritual and not some materialistic being.

That’s all for today.

I am so much in love with this number by Rihanna called Umbrella. Specially the one with Chris Brown. Awesome !

My Disastrous Weekend Trip

To start with, I never wanted to go with people whom I don’t know. They don’t speak the languages I understand and keep yapping around in some different language.

Due respect to the language but I hate such people who don’t try to make others feel comfortable.

Imagine if you only know English and you travel with a bunch of people from Uzbekistan who yap around in Hebrew, of which, you don’t understand a word.

How can you enjoy with such kind of people?

I preferred staying home but had to go because someone insisted that I come. I don’t know the reason why. Could be that they wanted someone to share the car and living expenses or because I was the second driver amongst the 5 people who were going.

I went to Door Country Wisconsin which can be termed as paradise for soul searching. It comprises of small villages which have a lake front. The place also has beautiful state parks, water sports and beautiful places to stay.

My idea of having fun at such a beautiful place is to go on the waterfront and grill something accompanied by playing some music, reading a book and talking. The people whom I went with are more of “picture perfect” kind. All they did was clicked pictures wherever we went. They love to click pictures and post them on networking sites like Orkut, Facebook etc.

I am so passé that stage. I did that on my trips back in 2006 when I was a newbie tourist. Now, I have graduated from the tourist mindset and like to enjoy natural beauty and be one with it. I did not even carry a camera with me because I knew people will have it.

Moreover, I sent my camera to my folks back in India long ago. I don’t even feel the need to have a camera. I really don’t know why. Call me old or just stupid.

Ok, so ask me what was so sick about the trip I had?

I got a driving speed citation. Yes, I got pulled over for speeding in Wisconsin. I hate it.

I was on 79 and the limit was 65.

Here goes the scene:

Cop: Hi, Do you know on what speed you were driving?

Me: Yes, 75.

Cop: I clocked you on 79. Do you know what the limit is?

Me: Yes, it is 65.

Now, the cop looks back into the car and sees three immigrants(A,B,C) with thick black moustaches who were not wearing seat belts !

Cop to A,B,C – Why are you guys not wearing seat belts? Do you know that it is a rule?

A,B,C – Staring at the cop like how a deer looks when caught under the headlights.

Cop – I am talking to you guys. Can I see your ID?

Now, A and B were carrying their home country driver’s ID and their passports. So, they flashed their home country ID’s. C started murmuring something which no one understood.

Cop to C – Sir, Can I please see your ID?

C – I don’t have ID

Cop – Do you have any picture id?

C – I have debit card. I’ll give or what ?

Cop – What will I do with your debit card? Step out of the car please.

The whole drama got over. The cop investigated C and also looked up my driving history, car records etc. He finally gave me a ticket for $186.

We started driving back and we asked C that how could he not carry an ID with him. He said that he did not have a US ID to which we responded that he should have had his passport with him. After a while, I asked “Didn’t your company give you any training as to what you need to do in a different country”

Look at C’s audacity “Actually I skipped the training because they were not providing lunch in the training”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing ! I have made a thumb rule !

“DON’T GO WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE FREAKIN DUMB ASSES”

Some immigrants always behave like immigrants even after staying in a different country for a long time. Preserve your Indian values but please atleast try to be sensible. Keep the paperwork in order and behave responsible for yourself.

Doesn’t really work if you depend on other people all the time. Get a life losers !

I am agitated because if these dumb asses were wearing seatbelts the cop wouldn’t divert his attention to them. He would have concentrated on me and my speeding ticket. I would have given a smile, a sweet sorry and a cute puppy face. This has always worked for me in the past and I escaped thrice from tickets. This time I got dinged !

Wishful Thinking !

Being Solo

I wonder if being solo at a place should be really frowned upon. We talk about personal space in relationships and I agree that it is absolutely necessary to discover yourself plus or minus a partner.

A few moments of solitude does wonders to my soul. But why do I appear to be stupid to some people when I eat alone at a restaurant?

Example:

It was a Thursday evening and I was dead hungry by 6pm. I decided to stop by at a local Quiznos. Although it is very close to a mall, it looks deserted on weekday evenings.

So, I got my usual Veggie stuff and was sitting alone on a corner table and savoring my food. I saw a family who entered the joint, ordered their stuff and sat at a table nearby.

It consisted of a man in his early thirties, his wife and their infant child.

After settling down this guy asks me “You doing a solo today??”

I was so busy in hogging food that I could barely hear him correctly.

I said “What?”

He said “I asked are you doing a solo today? No one to give you company?”

I said “Yes”

He had the gut to ask me if I had a man in my life and if I did then why Wasn’t I with him. I replied very politely that I was hungry and stopped by for a quick snack.

I moved out of that place and then while driving back home felt a little bit aggravated. “A little bit” is an understatement I guess. I was very irritated by this.

Can’t a person eat alone? Can’t a person shop alone? Can’t a person catch up on a movie alone?

I have my own reasons to do so. They are as follows:

1) Why would I need company to eat a meal when I am dead hungry?

2) Why do I need a companion to shop for my lingerie? Can’t I enter a store alone and look for things that I want? Why do I need to make someone wait for endless hours when I try 100 different pairs of jeans?

3) Why can’t I just take a walk by the lake and that too alone? I like to just introspect and retrospect and it gives me great pleasure in doing so.

According to me, people who think that doing things alone are boring are so bored with themselves. Why does one need entertainment and company all the time? Are you watching a circus or are you living a “life” ?